by Matahari

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released May 10, 2014

Recorded and Mixed by Ryan Stack at Format Audio
Mastered by Dan Coutant at Sun Room Audio
Artwork by Simon Kercz
Album layout by Anthony Lasalle



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Matahari Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Reality Disease
Infection exposed.
Deadpan, Stares through an unlit room.
the lights are off, and everybody's home.

Blind, leading the blind.
theres got to be an end to it all
A light at the end of the world.

For all the time we've spent waiting for each other.

For all the time we spent wasted, lying to one another.
Depressions yet to scratch the surface.

hollow impression,
left on earth.
righteous, my soul is purified,
proven unclean.
no longer silenced,
plagued by problems,
I'm left with nothing but my thoughts.
Track Name: Hopeless
Given all reasons to despise.
Blind to all of your lies.
I still find love for you. Its like

You runaway man.
You were born into a life that I've mistakenly followed.
and isnt it sad?
You've raised me to be your own.
A sadistic, pessimist.

Dear Father,
you're a ghost around the dinner table.
A thoughtless face,
With no faith to borrow.

I'm left helpless
my wisdom's in crime.
I cant help myself.
my progress restrained
I'm losing this time.

but I'm hopeless
my words will strangle the world.
til its sweat drips and drowns out
every emotionless pore.

Hope Less cant go on.

My head to the sky,
expectations for another sun cannot be.
But my hopes havent ever been this high.
When the hours pass.
my days will catch up with me.
Hope for another day will rely.
Tomorrow will be.
Track Name: No Longer Narrow
Once feeling guilty, for this world is against me,
I've done no wrong.
I remained silent,sentenced
to time spent searching for the answers to my own words.

I used to think
that I was wrong.
without words I've realized
there is meaning,
in knowing how,
and where of who I want to be.

no longer a prisoner,
the burden I've carried
was careless denial.
no longer.
I must rise through the crust,
I roam free without chains.

Coming of this day
horizon's expanding.
dark clouds have passed.
its become clarified,
flashed and repeated before eyes.
its become clarified
no sight for me,
no longer narrow

i once felt guilty for this world is against me,
I've done no wrong.
I remained silent,
sentenced to time spent searching for the answers
to my own words.

I'm becoming a burden on this world
once forsaken, abandoned by my faith
I followed nothing, allengence to a fucking ghost.
I've become a burden on this world.
once forgotten, I'm reborn without hope.
I've become a burden on myself.
Track Name: Dethbarrier
As blood rained down from the sky
I swore to myself that death was prominent in this land.
They built their towers high to shield the truth from our eyes.
To keep their secrets to themselves.

When my life was set on fire,
I tied the noose around my neck,
While bastards collect life's worth.

Souls blacked out with nothing to say.
A beaten path, where roads once laid.
Forms of demons now light the way.

Coming death
has buried light.
coming death, all along i knew its right.

Shook by the ghost that had become me,
I awake, alive within in a dream.
crawled onto a home,
once built for me.
All that remained,
a portrait of fear.
Illusions of passion,

I continued on into seismic catastrophe,
we've become blind,
this vision was never a dream.

I stole my soul from home.
A liar is all ill be.
the bastard's son.
Once feeling what i fucking loved.
just like him I fled my family.
death has buried light.
Track Name: Deny Me
Denial became our deities,
following me for enternity.

Stagnant currents upset by my choice.
The lone wolf has overthrown,

Manipulated, Sophisticated.
Allocated. Guillotined.
Escape was devised
Excuses contrived
I'm not who i seem.
I'm out of my mind.

Without a foundation for actions to follow,
I cut ties with an axe till hollowed.
Forced to the back of my mind, you shouldnt be mine.

Your ghost, it rots inside
my mind as memory unkind.
If asked to make this decision without a smile,
I'd hide the truth
I'd live within denial

but to keep the splinters obvious,
I'll repeat the truth till the truth repeats as obivous
The wound that never healed.
has healed in the time it takes to grow out of it.

Turn away from the current, deny the coming of this day.
Opposition is the truth laid out in a lack of reality.

Without the promise of dreams to desire,
I denied existence of remedied dreamers disease.
I'm one of many, but theres one of me.
endless sleep has destroyed hope

Some days you just lose it all.
Some days I just lost it all

Deny me, denial.
So never mind searching for sanity.
Track Name: Anyone
Hell was a nightmare, Armeggedon is true.
Death was so sacred, but living is through.
Our lives, their burden, breeding our fear.
Fearless.reborn. not living in the norm.



A few years past,
A few days older.
One day wiser,
I'm looking back.

I placed the burden on everyone and everything.
I have become, everything I never was.

And if what you see is what you get,
Then you've came to the right place.
Move on in pure anger,
Against the purest evil.

This world has nothing left for me.
I want to live, you want me dead.
when I rest, I wish to wake up in the past.
Now nightmares reign
A troubled sleep, dreaming to forget
A time that will Never last.
countless, thoughtless, routines killed me.
and i, hope that, some day,you can, shine in the sun.

Track Name: Deceiver
Black lies fulfuill themselves,
in white wedding dress.
Held hands harboring,
Malfunctioning love.
The truest, caves in on itself.
Months felt as years in the spectrum of days.
Torn calendar page from flesh blood standed walls.

Over and over, im down and out.
My medusa, no span of time will compensate your lies.
Betrayer, you turned my skull into stone.

Here where I lay grounded by fear,
restless washed up on shore,
black lies forced open eyes.

Repressing trapped in a memory,
now laid to rest despite my effort.
I've become a parasite.
black lies tossing me to the ground.

Turn to me now, deceiver,
you carry the cross.
bearing to all, deceiver you betrayed me.

Your love was the greatest deceiver.
and your love was the blackest of lies.
I'm controlled by fear to understand feeling.
your love is the blackest lie.

I was your idol, and you were diseased.
Never the same.
Track Name: Widower
In my youth I was lost,
seeking truth i found little.
The eldest entrusted
When questions were asked,
my answers formed Nothing.
Lessons learned in darkness

The kids refrained, a love contained,
and nothing but the seasons changed.
The sun is gone; and the frozen ponds
re-minds-me of all thats gone wrong.
As pictures fall, I do recall
the ruins of my favorite dolls.
With no more faces, they've been replaced with
all the crisis, in these places.

Everything which I once loved has strayed away.
The widower which i've become:is my only…identity
Its in my head, this bridge that I have crossed
many times before.
And now that you are no longer standing.
And now that you are no longer standing.
Kind hands hold me in this, situation catastrophe
It begins the suffering that has tempted me
As pearl gates swing open, release my demons free
this non-exsistance has taken everything from me

In my youth I was lost, seeking truth i found little
The eldest entrusted, commonly
The people won't see, a social decree
All sights portrayed, to be seen

Bruised and broken rotting tooth by tooth
The beauty that once existed, has turned shades of grey

Don't need a name,nor story to replace what i have done
I am the widower.

Idle time is nothing but a burning cross, in a fabled manuscript.
I am nothing but a miracle of life
non existent inside these walls.
Track Name: Stillborn
I am a cell, rotting inside a broken shell
An idiot, with no consequence to behold.
expired, waiting to be reborn.
Nested like a rat before the walls I built around the world.

I couldn't live, I could'nt hide.
and if i did, I'd be living a lie.
Stillborn, but never grown.
Two eyes but never shown

Drugged up. fucked up.
In hopes to quantify myself.
I worshiped a ghost.
To make matters worse,
I blame myself for this curse.
You held out your hand.
and I told you the worst.

From what I've been told, we weren't in control.
Its not you, its not me, its a lie we both told.
And when i spoke my mind,
with nothing to break my fall.
I broke my hand right through the wall.
my time spent, flashing before my eyes.

I'm stillborn, but never grown
I held in my hands, made love to the idea.
this love is no longer real.

i dont want to exist,
i dont want you to believe i did.
because ill never believe in you.

I'm stillborn but never grown,
Two eyes, but never shown.
Stillborn, but never grown.
Track Name: Tomorrow
These words hit the floor like the screams that I've screamed before.
These steps feel real like the steps that I fell down before
Tomorrow ill be, tomorrow youll see
no sun, no sky, no shadow.
just a past mirrored reflection,
of the demon inside.

And clenched fists pulverized
Dreams shattered pieces, to the floor

Oh so beautifully Defined before your eyes.
Theres nothing but pain inside.
Theres no shame behind these eyes
Oh so deeply burned into this scroll.
My every waking thought
Infinite chapters escape my skull

So shallow, fighting for air.
we've lost, the human race

No sun, no sky.
No sun no sky no shadow.
No sun no sky no shadow
No sun
No sky
No shadow

Keep this darkness from following me.

I am a moon to the dead world.
Far gone, beyond.
I am Shameless.
I'm Not of this world.